mnmlist: just the essentials

letting go of fake needs

Our lives are filled with things we need to do. Until we look a little more closely at those needs.

Think about what needs you might have: the need to check your email every 15 minutes, or empty your inbox, or read all your blogs, or keep something perfectly neat, or dress to work in the latest fashions. The need to constantly badger your kids about things, or control your co-workers, or meet with everyone who wants a meeting, or be wealthier and wealthier, or own a nice car.

Where do these types of needs come from? They’re completely made up.

Sometimes the needs are created by society: the industry you’re in requires you to work until 9 p.m. or dress in impeccable suits. Your neighborhood has certain standards and if you don’t have an impeccable lawn and two BMWs in the driveway, you’ll be judged. If you don’t have the latest iPhone, you won’t have your geek cred or status symbol, and you’ll be jealous of those who do.

Sometimes the needs are made up by ourselves: we feel the urge to check our emails or RSS feeds or news websites or text messages or Twitter accounts constantly, even though there is no negative societal or work consequences if we don’t keep up with them. We want a perfectly made up bed even if no one else cares. We want to create a list of goals in life or for the year and achieve every one of them, even if nothing bad will happen if we don’t achieve most of them.

Either of these types of made-up needs can be eliminated. All it takes is the willingness to let go.

Examine one of your made-up needs, and ask yourself why it’s such an important need. Ask what would happen if you dropped them. What good would it do? Would you have more free time and more space to concentrate and create, or less stress and fewer things to check off each day? What bad things would happen — or might happen? And how likely is it that these things would happen? And how could you counter-act them?

These needs are created by fears, and the more honest we are about these fears, the better. Face the fears, and give yourself a little trial period — allow yourself to let go of the need, but just for an hour, or a day. Just for a week. If nothing bad happens, extend the trial, and slowly in this manner you’ll find that the need wasn’t a need at all.

It can feel good to let go, and by letting go, you are freeing yourself.



all posts



2010
August
31letting go of fake needs
21undistracted reading
14minimalism is just the start
July
25a fresh start
18moving to a new home
June
10‘I could never give up’
1minimalism isn’t just for the affluent
May
26the beauty of a digital vacation
18the beauty of the ellipsis
11we are not consumers
6on economy
April
29manufacturing content
23society, reimagined: how to make it reality
21society, reimagined
16you need less than you think
14the only thing you can change
9the price of convenience
5possessions != security
5why i won’t be buying an ipad
March
30on finding contentedness
25the joy of walking
18minimalist backup
18minimalist fun
15empower people to create
10the creativity of constraints
9why i deleted 1,000 Facebook friends
5stop making it complicated
3wash your bowl
February
26the minimalism of veganism
22letting go of desires
15cherished mementos
8clear distractions
7mnmlist in 50 words
3minimalism in steps
January
28minimalist eating
18minimalist books


2009
December
22reduce your footprint
8eating less to be lighter
2slowness isn't comprehension
1slow, effective reading
November
22what twitter needs to add next
17unfriending
10learn to love less
4simplicity is the path
3The sweet science of less mail
October
30the 400-word promise
30the beauty of small
27on owning nothing
22the lust for new things
20avoid new stuff
16beat advertising
12unautomate: do it by hand
7the art of brief emails
4minimalism, the quick method
1the true cost of stuff
September
29break free from goals
22minimalist mac setup
21store everything in text files
18clutter is procrastination
16buying is not the solution
14revolt: get free from the tyranny of being current
11how to be less busy in a busy busy world
10minimalist FAQs
9carry less, or pockets like air
85 simple steps to declutter your closet
7win over non-minimalists
7how to let go of possessions
7getting to minimal: all the info you need to track
6minimalism is the end of organizing
6if you had to move, what would you take?
6step lightly upon this world
6consumerism vs. minimalism
6why less stuff is better
6rethinking necessities
6uncopyright and the minimalist mindset
5my minimalist desktop
4what is mnmlist.com?

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